What is Trust?
by RPGWarrior4824
Summary: How can you trust someone who betrayed you? High Noon hit Ryder hard. Secrets and lies destroy many things and she wants nothing to do with it. Will she be able to trust Reyes again? Can they still make this work?


**Notes:**

**I wrote this fic using the prompt: "Hey – you need to calm down! Now!" that TheXGrayXLady chose. Thank you so much for the prompt and sorry for taking so long with this.**

**I told myself I'll never write a F!Reyder fic that focuses on High Noon, but when I started working on this prompt that's where my head went. Lol, and here we are.**

**I apologize for any grammar and language errors I might've missed.**

* * *

Ryder was still staring at the lifeless body of Sloane Kelly. Her eyes were seeing but not believing it.

Ryder was not mad, she wasn't even furious. She was beyond that. Sara Ryder helped murder Sloane Kelly, and there was no way of sugar-coating it.

She couldn't unseen how the sniper caught her eye, or how the warning of SAM sounded in her head. She had two choices let Reyes' sniper kill Sloane or warn her about the sniper.

The sniper was at the perfect spot. There was no way Sloane could see him, especially at how Reyes and Sloane circled each other like predators. Both fighting for the throne. Both had strong personalities. Both will fight until one draw their last breath. And just for a moment, the fear cracked in that Reyes might not make it out alive.

Ryder felt like she was in one of those old western vids she watched when she was younger. Back when there was still time to watch vids. Not like now where they had to fight to stay alive. And two were fighting to get a damn throne.

It was stupid. Why did it matter who won and who lose? Why did they need to start a fight? What was it with being in the middle of the war and everyone finding more unnecessary enemies?

If the Collectives and the Outcasts joined forces, they could be stronger together. But even Ryder was not _that_ naïve. It would never work. Maybe in a perfect Galaxy, but sadly there was no such thing.

There will always be murder, drugs, heartbreak, and anger. There will always be someone who needs to prove they are the strongest. That they are fit to rule.

But Ryder did nothing. She knew her voice would make the flame bigger.

Ryder had no love for Sloane Kelly. She heard stories about how great she was. How things changed with the Nexus Uprising and Kandros took her place instead. She heard how highly Kandros spoke of her. What an amazing leader she was and what the people under her thought of her. Of how much she cared about everyone.

But Ryder never knew that Sloane Kelly, she only knew the ruthless leader that enforced harsh rules. Let the ones come to their fates who couldn't afford protection fees. Kadara was a hard place for those who didn't follow her rules.

Ryder was between a rock and a hard place. She was forced to make a decision. A part of her – the part that wasn't filled with anger and hatred – was hurt because the one person she thought she could trust didn't trust her.

When the bullet hit Sloane, she groaned and drew her last breath. She could read the expression on Sloane's face. It was betrayal. Not that Reyes and Sloane were friends, but this wasn't what she expected.

The Charlatan that stood next to her had no love for the woman either. He made that clear on more than one occasion.

It was that Reyes Vidal cheated. It wasn't a fair fight as he promised.

The question was, why did he cheat? Did he think he couldn't win otherwise? Did he cheat because he saw no other way?

This just showed Sara Ryder the true colour of the Charlatan and she didn't like what she saw.

When Reyes ordered his men to take Sloane away Ryder was even more shocked. She wondered what he will do with her body. Would they give her proper burial?

Ryder answered herself almost immediately. Probably not. Why would he?

It wasn't his words themselves that was so shocking, it was the way he said it. As if he asked his men to take out the trash and guilt engulfed her.

_You could have stopped this. This was unnecessary._

It was the words that she told herself over and over again.

Her feet followed Reyes without her permission. She followed him as he made his orders to his men. These men knew who he was. How could he trust them?

If their body language told her anything, it screamed to her that this was just business. These people were no friends. So how could he trust them with this secret but not her?

Ryder was a fool, she told him things. She shared a part of herself she never shared with anyone before. This worked only on one side. It seemed like trust isn't always a two-sided thing. How could she be this moron that shared this with him, but he didn't do the same thing.

Why the hell could he just not trust her?

His answer made her feel even worse. He was worried about what she thought? What the hell? It didn't make sense. It was a cheap answer and she didn't want to let it stand. She couldn't believe it. How could he do this to her? Betray her like this?

Ryder needed more but he wouldn't give it to her. If he knows anything about relationships or heck about her he should do the direct opposite. The way she felt she never wanted to see his face again.

"That's not good enough," Ryder stated. She tried to be calm but she couldn't anymore. Her anger was about to boil over. "I don't understand. Were you afraid of what I would do with the information if I found out?" Ryder clenched her fists.

"Ryder…"

"No, I want to know."

But Reyes didn't say anything and it was maddening. His silence confirmed her worst fears.

"Tell me!"

Reyes rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He didn't want to admit anything. "It's complicated."

Ryder snorted. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Complicated? That isn't an answer Reyes!" She felt eyes on them and when she saw the looks in their eyes, she realized she must've shouted.

Reyes placed his arm around her and led her to a part of the cave that was away from prying eyes. It took every part of her to stop herself from pushing his arm off. Ryder let him led her to another part. Besides he knew this cave a lot better than she did.

"You want to calm down?" Reyes made it sound like a question but Ryder heard it for what it was. A strong suggestion.

"Really?" Ryder snorted the sound filled the cave. "I should stay calm but in the meantime you betrayed me. All is good. Just go on like we used to?"

"I didn't betray you," he denied it. For him, it wasn't a betrayal but he didn't see it as she did. "I just… didn't tell you."

"You used me to get things done your way," she was shouting again. But this time she didn't care.

"Ryder, I'm sorry."

His apology shocked her. She didn't expect an apology. She never heard him apologize to anyone before. And this told her he was sorry even though she didn't understand his reasons. But she couldn't forgive him, at least not now.

"I trusted you," with every word Ryder's voice rose and rose. "And you used that and twisted it."

"Hey – you need to calm down! Now!" His words startled her.

But maybe that was for the best because it made her realized she needed to go before she'll say something they both will regret.

Ryder was shooting daggers at him with her eyes. The way he looked at her told her he saw it. She thought she recognized that look.

He showed a new emotion she haven't seen before. Was it shame? Guilt? Regret?

No, it couldn't be regret. Ryder knew Reyes would do this all over if he had the chance. He'll betray her again and again. If there was anyone who had a regret it was her.

Regret that she kissed him in the storage room of Sloane's party. Regret that they kissed again on the roof overlooking a warm sunset that painted the sky with the most beautiful colours. Regret that she let him into her life and share her life with him.

"I can't do this," it was almost a whisper. "I have to go," her words were louder this time. Clearer. And she started to walk to where she parked the Nomad. She didn't know if her team were already in the Nomad but she sure hoped so. She was so focused on this situation, on the anger that burned, she haven't thought about the other people present.

But Reyes grabbed her arm and she stopped in her tracks. "Don't touch me!" This time Ryder yanked her hand quickly from his grip.

"Don't leave." It sounded like Reyes was desperate. He was pleading. But the man before her didn't get desperate. If he wanted something he took it.

She looked into his eyes staring at those gorgeous whiskey brown eyes. He looked like a puppy who got hurt. And Ryder wished his look didn't soften her heart, but it's exactly what it did. And that was one of the many reasons she needed to go.

"If I don't," she warned, calmly, "Then I'll say something I'll regret. Something I can't take back. And I don't think either of us wants it."

"Say it," he challenged her and his words awaken more anger in her.

She shouldn't say anything. Just because he hurt her, it didn't mean she should hurt him back. Oh, but she wanted to so badly.

She wanted to throw insults in his direction. Tell him what a horrible human being he was. Tell him that he deserves the worse.

But… all of that would make things worse. She knew, deep in her heart, it wouldn't make her feel any better.

Ryder had to bite her tongue to stop herself. The words wanted to come out. She wanted to say them so badly.

"No." Her reply was soft. Ryder gave Reyes one last glance before walking away, "I'm leaving Kadara. And it will be best if you don't try to stop me."

He heard the warning in her voice. Otherwise, he wouldn't have said his next words or in the tone he said it. "Alright."

Then she walked to the Nomad and didn't look back.

* * *

Luckily for Ryder, her team was already in the Nomad. Peebee looked like someone who desperately wanted to escape but Drack looked like his old self.

None of them was addressing the elephant in the Nomad. Reyes' secret was out and, in the end, it wouldn't be just the three of them that will know. Soon the entire Tempest will. And as soon as Ryder realized that she let out a heavy sigh.

She didn't have the energy for other people's gossip. It was best if she controlled the situation. She should tell her team what happened at this mission before it causes her more of a headache than it already does.

That's what she did.

"SAM," she spoke through their private channel, "Get the crew ready for a meeting and tell them we're leaving."

"Yes, Pathfinder."

"Okay," Ryder said as she broke the silence that threatened to strangle them. "So, we'll have a meeting, tell the crew what happened."

Ryder could hear the confusion in Peebee's voice. "Why?"

"Because this is privilege information," Drack filled in the blanks. "Whether we like it or not that scumbag," Ryder couldn't help to wince at his words, "Is our ally. We may not share that information with anyone who isn't on the Tempest."

That wasn't something Ryder even thought about. It wasn't her reason, but there was no way she was going to tell them she didn't have the energy for whispers or anything like that.

"And we're leaving," Ryder added.

"The Charlatan is letting you leave," Drack didn't even use his real name. Something told her Drack didn't have a very high opinion of him.

"I told him he shouldn't stop me."

"You know what you should do," Peebee told Ryder. She knew her friend was trying to help her out but she was pretty sure whatever she was planning to say wouldn't be helpful. "Take your time to leave."

Peebee didn't think that thought through. If Ryder did that, she could cause more bloodshed between the Collectives and the Outcasts, and that's the last thing she wanted to do.

Ryder knew the Collectives would stop any ships and shuttles that comes in and out of the Port. That way they could control the situation better.

"What?" Peebee asked. Drack must've given her a look.

"Go and think about that," he replied.

The rest of the way was spent in silence and it wasn't long until they were all on the Tempest.

Luckily SAM reported that everyone was already on the Tempest and no one was missing. They could leave immediately.

"Where?" the pilot asked and Ryder froze.

She didn't know where to go, in all honesty, that wasn't something she thought through. Ryder just wanted to be as far away from Kadara as possible. "Just go to the Nexus."

Earlier she got a message from Captain Dunn, it sounded urgent. She got it just before she met up with Sloane.

Before…

Every time she closed her eyes she could see the bullet hitting Sloane. How she fell on the ground. The look on her face as she realized she got shot.

Why did this death bothered her so much?

Seeing death wasn't anything new. She won't say it was something she got used to. It's impossible to get used to it. Killing people was part of the job.

It wasn't long until the meeting started. Ryder got to the point as soon as she could.

She started with Sloane's message. How she asked her help and what happened to Kaetus. She had to wonder if Kaetus was still alive or what happened to him. Then she told them what Sloane offered her.

Most were surprised that she offered the Initiative an alliance. It was no secret that Sloane didn't trust them. She told them about the location they met up. Some blinked with big eyes, waiting to hear in anticipation who the Charlatan is. If it was someone that everyone expected or the most unlikely. How Ryder felt when she saw the identity of them.

When she told them how Reyes appeared from the shadows there were some mixed reactions. Some were surprised, some masked their emotions, and others were not surprised at all. But Vetra didn't react at all as Ryder expected.

"You're kidding me, right?" The turian crew member said. It was difficult to say in which direction she was taking this. "It was Vidal. That sneaky little bastard. I knew there was something about him."

Apparently – and Ryder didn't know the whole story – Vetra had some dealings with Reyes before. She was a little bit sketchy about the details. Ryder was vaguely aware of Vetra's smuggling deals, but she decided to keep her nose out of it.

She was aware Vetra had some dealings that weren't strictly legal but as long as it didn't hurt the Nexus she was okay with it.

Vetra shared bits and pieces of her past but not everything. Vetra needed to do what she did so that she and her younger sister could survive. She didn't get into smuggling because she wanted to. If it weren't for her circumstances things might've been very different.

It was a while before they could move on from the conversation.

When others said they suspected him it was a knife to her heart. She experienced his betrayal again. How could she be so blind? How could she not have seen this?

When they were on the roof enjoying the sunset she thought Reyes was showing his true self. And that was the moment she knew the smuggler before her stole her heart. It felt freeing to realize it. She thought he was true to her. But maybe that wasn't the case. Maybe he never showed anyone who he was.

All that she felt now was anger and confusion.

Unfortunately for Ryder, the meeting was not over yet. She couldn't leave the meeting room. At least not yet.

"So is that it?" Liam asked as if he expected another thing to be revealed. Almost as if she knew Andromeda's best kept secret.

"No," Ryder confirmed and looked at Drack as she remembered what he said in the Nomad. That might not be her main reason for telling them but he was right. Whether she liked it or not to survive they needed to work with the Charlatan. She made her bed, now she had to sleep in it.

To let everyone know who the Charlatan is won't help. It will make matters even worse. She wanted to control the situation and this was a part of it.

"The identity of the Charlatan must be kept secret," Ryder said quickly before she could change her mind. She scarcely believed that he is the Charlatan.

As can be expected there were a few protests that ran through the room. Whatever the crew thought of Reyes most of them had now worse opinions of him.

"We need this alliance," Ryder explained her reasons.

"Do we want an alliance with a guy who lied to you and used you like that?" Liam asked.

Ryder's relationship with Reyes was no secret. Some were aware of it and others weren't. The ones who paid attention knew. That's why when Liam said that, she knew he meant on a deeper level.

"We need that alliance." Cora's response surprised Ryder. Her second met him once and she didn't like him at all.

When Ryder asked her why she said he rubbed her the wrong way. But Cora was good at putting personal matters aside. She knew how much the Nexus needed this.

"Wait," Peebee said as she realized something. "Did he even offer you an Alliance? I was there," she reminded the people before them even though nobody questioned her. "It didn't sound like he was proposing something. Unless he said something when you guys were alone."

"You talked to him alone?" Jaal asked.

Ryder rubbed her temple, this was exactly what she wanted to avoid. "Well, Reyes talked," Ryder heard Peebee said. "Ryder kind of talked very loudly."

"I hoped you punched him," Vetra said.

"No, I didn't," Ryder sighed. But unfortunately, that was one of her regrets.

"The kid needs to talk to the Charlatan again," Drack took the subject further and Ryder sent him a thankful smile.

"Yes," Ryder confirmed.

"So we had an offer of alliance," Jaal said, "And now we have to ask for one." Ryder knew he meant well but his words made her feel even worse.

That was a confirmation. Ryder choose Reyes because of personal reasons. She didn't think about the Nexus. She thought about herself. She let her personal feelings influence her job. That wasn't a good thing. It was selfish.

"We'll get an alliance." Ryder sounded surer than she felt.

Even if Ryder forgive Reyes – and she knew one way or another she'll need to - she'll always suspect a betrayal. He did it once, so why not again?

Forgetting the part that they can even patch this up. How is she even going to trust him enough to work with him?

She didn't know. But she'll need to put her personal feelings aside and do it. There was no other way.

It wasn't long until she dismissed the crew and each returned to their corner.

* * *

That night Ryder couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned. When what felt like hours has passed she had enough. Sleep wouldn't come. Maybe some tea would help.

Her feet touched the cold floor.

She got everything ready and when the kettle boiled she poured herself a mug. She took the mug to her lips and took a small sip. It was sweet just the way she liked it. Hopefully, the sweetness will take the bitterness she felt in her heart away.

But she knew that was impossible.

What Ryder needed to do is keep herself busy. Luckily for her Andromeda had more than enough to keep herself busy with. There was always someone who needed help with something.

It turns out Andromeda is a far colder and harsher place than she thought. Ryder remembered how excited she and Scott was about this new Galaxy. It felt like a new adventure. Something new to explore.

But the trip caused so much heartache. Nothing ever goes according to plan. She was naïve to expect this Galaxy was different. As if this one would not be so cruel than the previous one.

Ryder couldn't help to snort. She was so far wrong it was almost funny.

"What's so funny?" someone asked. When she looked up she saw Suvi standing there. She was wearing some sweatpants and a loose shirt. It looked comfortable, it was the clothes she slept in.

But it wasn't as funny as it was sad. Ryder decided to keep the thoughts to herself. "Nothing."

"It's late," she began, "Why are you up?"

"Can't sleep."

"Figured that," and no matter how hard Ryder tried she couldn't find the sarcasm in Suvi's words. "What's bothering you?"

Ryder sighed. It was the last conversation she wanted to have. It had nothing to do with it being Suvi. Somehow Ryder couldn't explain it.

"Ah," Suvi said as if her sigh gave her the answers. "It's what happened today, right? Or well yesterday. I guess," she activated her omni-tool. Probably to check the time. "Yes," she confirmed, "Yesterday."

The science officer was spot on but Ryder didn't want to admit it, but neither could she deny it. "It's nothing. I'm fine."

"You know you're allowed to be angry, right?" Suvi paused and Ryder only knew why when she talked again. "But that's why you can't sleep."

Ryder looked at her tea. She already drank it halfway. It was still warm but soon enough it will lose its heat. "Not much of an angry sleeper."

Suvi smiled like she remembered something. "I'm like that too. You know that's not a bad thing."

But Ryder wasn't ready to forgive him. She needed more time, "Maybe, but I'd rather be angry in peace."

Suvi gave her a knowing look. "If you're angry you can't be in peace."

At that time and at that moment Ryder disagreed. But she didn't say anything back.

"Anyway," Suvi said when it was clear that Ryder wasn't going to say anything else, "I'm going to bed. But if you need a talk I'm here."

* * *

Taking over Kadara Port went as smooth as it possibly could. The Outcasts didn't know what hit them until it was too late.

Kaetus was captured again, he yelled curses at Reyes. His heart was broken because the woman he loved was killed by the Charlatan's hand.

Reyes didn't take joy in these things. Murder and torture were not something he enjoyed but Kadara had a way of changing you. Sometimes it's the best possible choice. Sloane would have made things much worse. It was the lesser evil.

He hated being in the spotlight, regardless of what Ryder must think of him, he decided to take things over because Sloane was the wrong person for the job. And she wouldn't have stepped down willingly. People were unhappy with her rule. Some even felt trapped, but things will be different now.

The plan was for Keema to be the front. In the beginning, it was only him and her, and he wouldn't have been able to get that far without her. She wasn't just an ally but a true friend.

It could have been worse, but many people died. Outcasts that refused to surrender, some were smart enough to realize it was their only option. If the others could have seen it as well things would have turned out better. But if Reyes was honest with himself and looked at the bigger picture, he could see things turned out for the best. Things could have been a lot worse.

He just had one regret; Ryder shouldn't have been there. He wanted to tell her at that party where they kissed on the rooftop under the sunset. But he couldn't.

It was funny, he never felt the need to share certain parts of himself with someone else. Some parts of himself he had to hide from the Galaxy but when it came to Ryder things changed. He wanted to use her, he could have done it without her but he saw an opportunity. Later he regretted it because she deserved so much better. She deserved someone who could be honest with her.

There were times that the words wanted to escape. They needed to.

_I'm the Charlatan. _

But he couldn't. There was too much at cost for Reyes to spill the beans. It was a way of protecting himself. And this was too important.

"Tell her," Keema once said. They were meeting in his room. They were going through a report, making sure there were no holes in the Collectives. But Reyes' attention was somewhere else.

He very well knew who she talked about. "I can't." He took the datapad and place it on his lap, trying to read the words but no matter how hard he tried his thoughts came back to her.

"I'm afraid you have no excuse."

Keema was always very good at reading people. But she couldn't read Reyes. She tried getting information out of him about his past but he never budged. "Meaning?" he cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Any fool can see you care about her."

"It's complicated."

Reyes wanted to move along from the subject. It was also the truth. Even Reyes wasn't precisely sure what the reason was. Maybe it was a small side of doubting what she'll do with that information.

"It always is." When he looked at his friend she was giving him a knowing smile. A smile that said_: You're full of crap._

During the takeover, Ryder reappeared in his mind again and again. Old heat sinks laying on the floor. They didn't have use anymore and new ones replaced them. Old blood was splattered on the floor. The different colours of the different species blending. But when everything was over Reyes let Keema take over and he went to his old place.

Living in the shadows that's where Reyes worked best, and that's how he always made it. The spotlight showed his weak points and screamed it to the Galaxy.

The next few days were busy. But after Reyes couldn't get any work done for the so manifest time, he decided it was time to write Ryder an email. When he was done typing, he pressed send before he could change his mind.

He didn't think Ryder would reply, why would she? He betrayed her. Ryder was right. She shouldn't have been there. When he saw her every part of him wanted to stay in the shadows but he knew he might not get another opportunity like this again.

She was clever, fitting the puzzle pieces together. He wanted to focus the conversation on Sloane but when Ryder said he lied to her he had to say something. Repair the damage somehow. But it turned out he only made things worse.

His words meant nothing to her. She didn't believe him. Maybe whatever was between them was over now. Reyes could only hope that there was something.

He wasn't good at things like this. He was never one for love. But if words couldn't do anything, these actions would have to do. He'll show her that he is the right leader for Kadara. The leader that Kadara deserves.

It will take a lot of work and time but all the things worth it were like that. He had to give it his best shot.

* * *

Ryder never took Suvi on her offer. For the next few weeks, she slept badly. She stayed up late at nights and the mornings she got up early again. She was tired. Beyond exhausted. But she kept on living like this.

Reyes sent her an email. Just one, but one was enough. He said he understood that she needed to be angry but when she felt the time was right she should come and see him. They needed to talk.

Ryder knew she couldn't ignore this for very long. And when a mission took her to Kadara she thought it was time.

* * *

"Ryder," Reyes immediately jumped up as he saw her. If he knew she was coming – which Ryder was pretty sure he knew – he didn't believe she would come to see him. "You're here." He gave her the biggest smile he could muster.

"Yeah," she still had her armor on. It was full of dirt and grime. Even Ryder had to admit that she wasn't looking her finest.

"You look tired." Either Reyes was looking for a way to smooth things over, making things less awkward then it is. Or he saw how tired she truly was.

Crime would always be a problem on Kadara. Ryder tried to see if Kadara was different since the Charlatan took over. But to her, it looked all the same. She had to wonder if this was the smartest move. Why wasn't Reyes in his throne room?

Her feet took her there. She remembered all the flirting and empty promises. When Kian saw her he told Ryder Reyes was in his old room.

"What's up with your face?" the bartender asked when she was shocked. She must've showed it.

"Nothing," she lied.

She couldn't tell Kian why she was surprised. She needed to hear why he wasn't at his rightful place. Isn't it what he wanted? To rule Kadara?

Ryder's attention was back on the present. On Reyes. He was waiting for an answer. "I am," she admitted.

Ryder forgave Reyes, it was time. In the end, Suvi was right. It was impossible to be angry in peace. But she didn't know if she could ever trust him again. How could she? But she wanted to do nothing else then running into his arms. As if this was a vid and there was something like a happy ever after. But even she knew there wasn't such a thing.

Happy endings doesn't exist. You had to take advantage of the happy times.

"Are you still mad?" Ryder didn't know why Reyes was the first one to bring up but she was thankful. One of them had to break the ice. But Reyes' words only made things worse. Things might've been awkward the moment Ryder stepped in the room but it was even more now.

"No, but that doesn't mean…" What was she going to say? That they had to break off whatever was between them? That it was for the best? Was it even what she wanted?

"You don't trust me."

She knew she needed to be able to trust him again. No relationship works without trust.

"Yeah," she said even though he didn't ask a question.

They shouldn't even talk about this. _Talk about the Initiative. That is the true reason you came. _

"Look," Reyes said, "I wanted to tell you but…"

"You couldn't?" Ryder asked. She might not be fond of secrets but she knew some things were harder to share and some people weren't good at sharing those things.

"Yeah," he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "If I could turn back time I would have done things differently."

"I don't believe you." Ryder wasn't convinced. "But that doesn't matter. We can't change the past."

"What can I do?"

Ryder knew Reyes meant well but this wasn't something that could be fixed. It will take time.

"You can't do anything." Ryder sighed, she could feel the weight of frustration pulling her down. "If I can't trust you then… what's the point of us?"

"Ryder…"

"I need to be able to trust you and right now I don't."

Reyes thought things over. It felt like an entirety but in reality, it could only have been a couple of seconds at most. "Let's start over. My actions will show you that you can trust me."

"I don't know Reyes."

"Ask me anything."

"How did you become the Charlatan?"

They talked for hours and hours. Whatever Ryder had planned for the rest of the day, including that evening, had to wait. It was as if they haven't seen each other in years. Old ships passing by at night.

Afterward, they talked about their alliance and everything it would include.

Maybe they could do it. Maybe one day Ryder will be able to trust him fully again. But that day wasn't today.


End file.
